Essay

I am planning this essay.
"Discuss the role of traditional beliefs in modern society."

My Introduction Paragraph:
In today's contemporary society, traditional thoughts has gradually diminished. Due to globalisation, values present in western countries are extended across the world to culturally rich countries. Consequently, cultural values long-established and passed down from generation to generation were most likely to be replaced and forgotten. It is true that an indiscriminate over-dependence on traditional values is no longer practical and may lead to undesirable social injustice. Nonetheless, traditional beliefs still has a role to play even today, although with varying degrees of importance in different aspects.

Brief Comment: It took me quite some time to come up with the introductory paragraph. I think there is still some lack in it. The thesis statement is not clear. I'm not really done though, will edit soon. I can still feel that there is not much flow in this para. +(